Saturday, October 31, 2009

Welcome to Fluffya...

Yes, and all those idiot fans are waiting for you this weekend. Make sure to identify yourselves properly with appropriate Yankees/Giants wear. Remember when we won the Series in 1980 our police force had the opinion that it would take attack dogs and horses to hold back the fans. Nothing has changed. The following from the New York Post -- 44's comments appear in Phillies red.

Frillies are coming to town!
Their fans are second-rate & so is their city


Yankees fans have a message for the Phillies and their hometown: This ain't Rocky, and the underdog won't win! "The Yankees are going to make Philly cream cheese out of them," a confident Tommy Bayiokos, 44, predicted yesterday in Midtown. (Original Tommy from Midtown, original!)

"Philly fans are a bunch of whiners and should learn how to dress. They should try reading GQ."
Living up to their second-class billing going into the start of the Fall Classic tomorrow, the Phils arrived in New York yesterday -- by train. (Taking AMTRAC was green and environmentally friendly -- get with the times. BTW -- the Yanks took the train to 30th Street Station yesterday)

The less-than-grand entrance triggered a flood of invective from the Yankee faithful.
"Bleacher Bums get a bad rap," said Tanner McLoud, 42, of Long Island. "But if you've ever been to the old Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia, you'd realize just how much worse Phillies fans are. (at least we stay until the game is over, unlike Yankees fans in WS game #1)


"You can't go to a game without getting booze thrown at you!" (I thought we didn't care?)

Gotham has been regularly beating the pants off Philly since overtaking the one-horse town as the nation's economic capital in the early 19th century. (We have way more horses now)

Even Benjamin Franklin, Philly's patron saint, has been described as "the father of all the Yankees." (Good Lord you're not trying to credit for Ben too?)

Although Philadelphia doesn't draw the same ire among New Yorkers as Boston or Los Angeles, it's mostly because Gothamites consider the city across the Ben Franklin Bridge pretty pathetic, says Bleacher Creature Michael Stewart.

"I don't have hate for Philly exactly -- they are like our redheaded stepchild," he said.
"It's like a nothing city. It's just insignificant in comparison to New York." (ahh... isn't every city in your opinion?)

Another Yankee fan, Laura Nidelle, 24, insists the Yuengling-slinging rubes in Philly are uncultured and uninteresting -- and go to bed too early. (De gustibus non est disputandum Laura. Have an Ortlieb's)

The Walnut is not only the country's oldest theatre, but has the largest subscription as well. They've already had CATS, and they produce their own shows using Equity actors, and are not a touring house. Again four people contributed to this article, and none bright enough to use the internet and look up Walnut Street Theatre?

"I briefly lived in Philadelphia and I couldn't wait to get out," the Brooklyn writer said. "Their fans are whiners, the food is lousy and there is nothing to do. (We couldn't wait for you to leave as well)

"New York is all about being on top, with no excuses -- just like the Yankees." (Being on top -- like Governor Spitzer?) And don't get us started on the cuisine.

Consider Philadelphia's most famous export -- other than Will Smith: overcooked minced-meat sand wiches doused in Cheez Whiz.

"The big meal there is a steak with cheese and onions on a hero, but they don't even call it a hero. It's a hoagie. What the hell is a hoagie?" said Ron Montclane, 26. (A cheese steak isn't a hoagie, or a sub. Need to fact check. Four people contributed to this mess of an article?)

As far as sports go, sure, the Phillies have won two World Series championships compared with the Yankees' 26 (easy to understand since your payroll is 88 million MORE than ours this year), but far sadder is that no one from Philly cares much. (Must be why there were 3 million at the parade last year)

"Their most famous athlete is Rocky, and he's fictional," sneered Alex Rusu, 23, a building superintendent in Gramercy. (and yous all loved the movies, didn't yous?)

And don't even try to compare the iconic House That Ruth Built with the long-gone Veterans Stadium. (In fairness you would compare Shibe Park with the original Yankee Stadium)

"Their stadium had a jail cell for rowdy fans because they like throwing stuff at people," said Laura Hall, 35, of The Bronx. (Please remember that should you decide to bring that NY attitude down here when you visit)

The Phillies' current home, Citizens Bank Park, is jail-free, but the fans are still thugs, Bombers faithful said. (Thugs... and drunks... so be careful, very careful)

Additional reporting by Amber Sutherland

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