We'll make them an offertory they can't refuse

1) We're not saying you have to give the church 10 percent of your income. We're just saying that something bad might happen if you don't.

2) The main suspects in yesterday's drive-by baptisms.

3) "Yeah, you BETTER pray."

4) Look out! It's the brothers from Our Lady of the Broken Kneecaps.

5) No one expects the New Jersey Inquisition.

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